Not ready for prime time
It's a bad sign when the only clip from this new National Lampoon's movie that made it into the trailer involves Jackass' Steve-O dressed up like the devil and giggling like a gremlin. If you beleive the advertising, the producers can't show you any more because it would be too offensive, hence the 'R' rating.
I didn't buy it. I though this movie must be either so bad, or so unfinished, that the producers had nothing better or funnier to put in the preview. No "rocket sauce" as Jack Black might say. I visited their website to test my hypothesis.
Well, we were both right.
Judging from the clips Xenon Pictures posted online, every third word in this movie is either cock, balls or fuck, which would make it pretty hard to put a coherent trailer together. However, previewing a gag about "The world's Most Pointless Stunts" staring Steve-O, that's supposed to be a send-up of MTV's Jackass isn't going to get many people into the theater. One bright note for the this film: several out of work actors are getting a pay day. It's good to see Judd Neslon (New Jack City), Jayson Mewes (Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back) and Chris Pontius (Jackass), "Wee Man" (Jackass) and Lee Majors (The Six Million Dollar Man) all getting some screen time.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Review The Preview: TV Edition
With two, very exciting shows beginning their seasons in January, we felt it would be a great time to review the previews for 24 Season 6, and The Hills Season 2.
Bauer Power
After an amazing off-season (5 Emmys, including Best Actor, Director, and Series), 24 is finally back following what seemed like a 2 year hiatus. As it turns out, Season 6 takes place two years after we last saw Jack Bauer, when he was being kidnapped by the Chinese for just doing his job. Bauer buddy, Wayne Palmer is now the Presdent, and times are tough with multiple terror attacks in different US cities shaking the confidence of the American people. So Prez. Palmer II does the only thing that makes sense, and bails Jack out of China to save the day again...only this time there's a catch. To save the world, Jack Bauer must die (not sure why yet, he just does). This clearly doesn't phase Jack, who's already died twice and since saved the day like 3 times.
It looks like things will be kicking off in traditional 24 fashion with two 2-hour, action filled nights on January 14th and 15th. Some notable newcomers to Season 6 are James Cromwell (Babe), Kal Penn (Harold & Kumar), and Rick Shroder, who will be filling the "Sean Astin-weird-old-child actor" spot this year. Bottom line is you don't want to miss Jack supporting the Ted Kaczynski look when he walks off that plane and enters the land he loves, or any other second of this season. Jack bless America!
Do you understand the difference between dying for something, and dying for nothing?
The Hills are Alive!
Season 2 of The Hills shows us a wiser but more jaded LC, who has (gasp!) just broken up with her BF after choosing him over the opportunity of a lifetime in Paris. What a moron, huh? I mean everyone in the universe knew that Jordan was a total douche except LC. WTF? Anyhoo, LC clearly can't handle being the only single member of her crew, and tries to make a pact with best friend, Heidi, to remain single for the year. I'm sure it'll all work out since they are both selfless and loyal.
The even more exciting story line follows Heidi, who at one point takes a pregnancy test to see if her and her boyfriend accidentally created the world's dumbest embryo. I think she must be pregnant. Her morning sickness is as bad as its ever been, and it can't be from the excessive binge drinking that this 90 pound waif has been doing, can it?
Jealousy, pregnancy, and stupidity - the three components to any successful TV show, and The Hills has them all.
With 24 on at 9, and The Hills coming on at 10, my Monday Nights are pretty much booked 'til June.
With two, very exciting shows beginning their seasons in January, we felt it would be a great time to review the previews for 24 Season 6, and The Hills Season 2.
Bauer Power
After an amazing off-season (5 Emmys, including Best Actor, Director, and Series), 24 is finally back following what seemed like a 2 year hiatus. As it turns out, Season 6 takes place two years after we last saw Jack Bauer, when he was being kidnapped by the Chinese for just doing his job. Bauer buddy, Wayne Palmer is now the Presdent, and times are tough with multiple terror attacks in different US cities shaking the confidence of the American people. So Prez. Palmer II does the only thing that makes sense, and bails Jack out of China to save the day again...only this time there's a catch. To save the world, Jack Bauer must die (not sure why yet, he just does). This clearly doesn't phase Jack, who's already died twice and since saved the day like 3 times.
It looks like things will be kicking off in traditional 24 fashion with two 2-hour, action filled nights on January 14th and 15th. Some notable newcomers to Season 6 are James Cromwell (Babe), Kal Penn (Harold & Kumar), and Rick Shroder, who will be filling the "Sean Astin-weird-old-child actor" spot this year. Bottom line is you don't want to miss Jack supporting the Ted Kaczynski look when he walks off that plane and enters the land he loves, or any other second of this season. Jack bless America!
Do you understand the difference between dying for something, and dying for nothing?
The Hills are Alive!
Season 2 of The Hills shows us a wiser but more jaded LC, who has (gasp!) just broken up with her BF after choosing him over the opportunity of a lifetime in Paris. What a moron, huh? I mean everyone in the universe knew that Jordan was a total douche except LC. WTF? Anyhoo, LC clearly can't handle being the only single member of her crew, and tries to make a pact with best friend, Heidi, to remain single for the year. I'm sure it'll all work out since they are both selfless and loyal.
The even more exciting story line follows Heidi, who at one point takes a pregnancy test to see if her and her boyfriend accidentally created the world's dumbest embryo. I think she must be pregnant. Her morning sickness is as bad as its ever been, and it can't be from the excessive binge drinking that this 90 pound waif has been doing, can it?
Jealousy, pregnancy, and stupidity - the three components to any successful TV show, and The Hills has them all.
With 24 on at 9, and The Hills coming on at 10, my Monday Nights are pretty much booked 'til June.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
What up, Alpha Dog?
'Alpha Dog,' directed by Nick Cassavetes (The Notebook), is loosely based on the real life exploits of the notorious SoCal drug dealer, Jesse James Hollywood aka Sean Michaels (he probably changed his name to avoid confusion with the pro-wrestler?). Hollywood is touted as one of the youngest people to crack the FBI's top 10 most wanted list, doing so by the incorrigible age of 20.
In the movie, Hollywood's character is written in under the name Johnny Truelove, and is played by Emile Hirsch. At first I thought that Hirsch was Turtle from Entourage, and lost weight to do the role. After further research it appears that Hirsch is a completely different actor who you may know from his last role in 'The Lords of Dogtown' (apparently the guy loves dogs). The film also stars Bruce Willis, Sharon Stone, and then a whole slew of people who are not real actors, including Justin Timberlake, Fernando Vargas, Janet Jones (Wayne Gretzky's wife) and Paulina Gretzky (Wayne's daughter!). Oh, and in a strange twist of fate, Timberlake is cast in a role to play a character that can only be loosely based on Kevin Federline. Take that K-Fed.
If this movie is anything like 'The Notebook,' and I think it will be, then we are all in for a treat.
'Alpha Dog,' directed by Nick Cassavetes (The Notebook), is loosely based on the real life exploits of the notorious SoCal drug dealer, Jesse James Hollywood aka Sean Michaels (he probably changed his name to avoid confusion with the pro-wrestler?). Hollywood is touted as one of the youngest people to crack the FBI's top 10 most wanted list, doing so by the incorrigible age of 20.
In the movie, Hollywood's character is written in under the name Johnny Truelove, and is played by Emile Hirsch. At first I thought that Hirsch was Turtle from Entourage, and lost weight to do the role. After further research it appears that Hirsch is a completely different actor who you may know from his last role in 'The Lords of Dogtown' (apparently the guy loves dogs). The film also stars Bruce Willis, Sharon Stone, and then a whole slew of people who are not real actors, including Justin Timberlake, Fernando Vargas, Janet Jones (Wayne Gretzky's wife) and Paulina Gretzky (Wayne's daughter!). Oh, and in a strange twist of fate, Timberlake is cast in a role to play a character that can only be loosely based on Kevin Federline. Take that K-Fed.
If this movie is anything like 'The Notebook,' and I think it will be, then we are all in for a treat.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Negative, Ghost Rider
Director Mark Steven Johnson did such a bang out job adapting Daredevil from a Marvel comic-book series to a feature film, Sony Pictures decided to give him another shot behind the camera. This time, instead of a blind motorcycle-riding hero like the one Ben Affleck played in Daredevil, we get the titular Ghost Rider, a flaming (as in on fire, not homosexual) motorcycle-riding zombie by night and a daredevil motorcycle-riding stuntman called Johnny Blaze by day, all played by Nicolas Cage. Eva Mendes, Sam Elliot and Peter Fonda also appear on screen to say things like, "Johnny, No!" And: "By night, in the presence of evil, the Rider takes over."
Years ago, Johnny cut a deal with Mephisto (Fonda, as the Devil) and is cursed to ride his blazing hog through the night. I can only assume the movie follows Blaze's attempts to free himself from the curse's clutches and probably save the world too. Along the way, it seems he'll have to contend with some, er, fallen angels. I'd better let Mark Steven Johnson explain:
Well said, Mark.
Director Mark Steven Johnson did such a bang out job adapting Daredevil from a Marvel comic-book series to a feature film, Sony Pictures decided to give him another shot behind the camera. This time, instead of a blind motorcycle-riding hero like the one Ben Affleck played in Daredevil, we get the titular Ghost Rider, a flaming (as in on fire, not homosexual) motorcycle-riding zombie by night and a daredevil motorcycle-riding stuntman called Johnny Blaze by day, all played by Nicolas Cage. Eva Mendes, Sam Elliot and Peter Fonda also appear on screen to say things like, "Johnny, No!" And: "By night, in the presence of evil, the Rider takes over."
Years ago, Johnny cut a deal with Mephisto (Fonda, as the Devil) and is cursed to ride his blazing hog through the night. I can only assume the movie follows Blaze's attempts to free himself from the curse's clutches and probably save the world too. Along the way, it seems he'll have to contend with some, er, fallen angels. I'd better let Mark Steven Johnson explain:
Well said, Mark.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Steamin' Willie Beamen is Dreamin'
"Dreamgirls," adapted from the 1981 Broadway musical based on The Supremes, is the story of a trio of women who go from being back-up singers to being at the top of the pop charts. The film stars some notable A-listers including Jamie Foxx, Beyonce Knowles, and Eddie Murphy (aka Baby-Daddy Spice) who has finally returned from his 10 year stint of doing children's movies.
Also starring in the film, is newcomer to the screen and former American Idolater, Jennifer Hudson. Critics are calling Hudson's performance the best by an American Idol finalist since Justin Guarini in "From Justin to Kelly." In fact, the Oscar buzz surrounding Hudson has already caused Beyonce to pretend to not be jealous of her.
I don't think I'd go see this movie if my name was Jay-Z.
"Dreamgirls," adapted from the 1981 Broadway musical based on The Supremes, is the story of a trio of women who go from being back-up singers to being at the top of the pop charts. The film stars some notable A-listers including Jamie Foxx, Beyonce Knowles, and Eddie Murphy (aka Baby-Daddy Spice) who has finally returned from his 10 year stint of doing children's movies.
Also starring in the film, is newcomer to the screen and former American Idolater, Jennifer Hudson. Critics are calling Hudson's performance the best by an American Idol finalist since Justin Guarini in "From Justin to Kelly." In fact, the Oscar buzz surrounding Hudson has already caused Beyonce to pretend to not be jealous of her.
I don't think I'd go see this movie if my name was Jay-Z.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Jim Carey gives us a math lesson
What number did Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player in the history of the game, wear on his jersey? 23. And what number does Lebron James wear today? 23.
Coincidence?
Not if you believe The Number 23, the new film from maestro Joel Schumacher, who's probably best known for making the worst movie of all time: Batman & Robin. He's returned from a 3-year filmmaking hiatus to tell the story of Walter Sparrow, a man who sees the number 23 everywhere he turns after reading a book called, you guessed it, The Number 23. 23 is how old he was when he met his wife Agatha, played by Virginia Madsen (this is the kind of movie where people are called Walter and Agatha and, no kidding, Robin Sparrow). Add up all the numbers in his driver's license and you get 23. His birthday? 23. Social Security Number? 23. 9 plus 14? Yep, 23. He can't escape it.
Carey also plays a character called Fingerling and Madsen has a second role as someone named Fabrizia. The trailer doesn't get into any of this, so we can only speculate about the ways Fingerling and Fabrizia are involved in the plot. Maybe they can explain the mystery of 23. I have a feeling I'll never learn the answer.
What number did Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player in the history of the game, wear on his jersey? 23. And what number does Lebron James wear today? 23.
Coincidence?
Not if you believe The Number 23, the new film from maestro Joel Schumacher, who's probably best known for making the worst movie of all time: Batman & Robin. He's returned from a 3-year filmmaking hiatus to tell the story of Walter Sparrow, a man who sees the number 23 everywhere he turns after reading a book called, you guessed it, The Number 23. 23 is how old he was when he met his wife Agatha, played by Virginia Madsen (this is the kind of movie where people are called Walter and Agatha and, no kidding, Robin Sparrow). Add up all the numbers in his driver's license and you get 23. His birthday? 23. Social Security Number? 23. 9 plus 14? Yep, 23. He can't escape it.
Carey also plays a character called Fingerling and Madsen has a second role as someone named Fabrizia. The trailer doesn't get into any of this, so we can only speculate about the ways Fingerling and Fabrizia are involved in the plot. Maybe they can explain the mystery of 23. I have a feeling I'll never learn the answer.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Jumanji 3: End Game, Please?
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson star together for the 7th time in "Night at the Museum." Those two have quite the track record, and once again they've brought along their 'Frat Pack' buddies...Robin Williams, Dick van Dyke, and Mickey Rooney. What, were you expecting Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn?
Question: Why do people keep remaking Jumanji? By my count, this is the third installment (remember Zathura?). It's kind of outrageous. But alas, this version stars some fan favorites with Stiller, Wilson, and (surprise) Ricky Gervais, creator of "The Office." I guess you have to ask youself, 'How can I pass on a movie starring those 3.' Try your best to resist!
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson star together for the 7th time in "Night at the Museum." Those two have quite the track record, and once again they've brought along their 'Frat Pack' buddies...Robin Williams, Dick van Dyke, and Mickey Rooney. What, were you expecting Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn?
Question: Why do people keep remaking Jumanji? By my count, this is the third installment (remember Zathura?). It's kind of outrageous. But alas, this version stars some fan favorites with Stiller, Wilson, and (surprise) Ricky Gervais, creator of "The Office." I guess you have to ask youself, 'How can I pass on a movie starring those 3.' Try your best to resist!
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Matt Damon Sets the Mongoose Free
With The Good Shepherd, director Robert Dinero tells the story of Edward Wilson and the inception of the CIA. The cast reads like a fantasy roster of crime movies since 1990, though George Clooney, Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino are oddly missing. Joe Pesci is still alive and needs work? Fantastic. Let's take over the world!
At least that's what I thought until I visited www.thegoodshepherdmovie.com, where I learned the movie includes Wilson's days as a poetry student at Yale University, and his induction into the super-ultra-secret Skull & Bones society. Universal Pictures wisely left this material out of the trailer. What a boring overlong bummer this movie will be. Sorry Bobby, this has "Best Picture Nominee" written all over it.
With The Good Shepherd, director Robert Dinero tells the story of Edward Wilson and the inception of the CIA. The cast reads like a fantasy roster of crime movies since 1990, though George Clooney, Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino are oddly missing. Joe Pesci is still alive and needs work? Fantastic. Let's take over the world!
At least that's what I thought until I visited www.thegoodshepherdmovie.com, where I learned the movie includes Wilson's days as a poetry student at Yale University, and his induction into the super-ultra-secret Skull & Bones society. Universal Pictures wisely left this material out of the trailer. What a boring overlong bummer this movie will be. Sorry Bobby, this has "Best Picture Nominee" written all over it.
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