Rocky Bocky Soda Crocky

Who's the best of all time? That's the question posed by a virtual boxing game, in 'Rocky Balboa' (written and directed by Stallone), that gives the crown to a computer generated Rocky. Of course it's not good enough that virtual Rocky took the title, so old Rocky starts training to come back and see if he's really the best. Only he's 60.

The thing is, Rocky's already proven he's the best. He beat Clubber, Apollo, and ended the Cold War. Coming back to the ring for him now is like watching Jerry Rice on the Seahawks. So why am I so freakin' excited for this to come out? I think it's the music. Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah...

Here's the really bad part: This new 'Rocky' has apparently spawned a new Rambo, also being directed by Sly himself. No, seriously. It's going to be called 'Rambo IV: In the Serpent's Eye.' I swear.

At this point, I'm fully expecting to see 'Rocky VII: Rocky Dances with the Stars' by next Christmas.